In the quiet moments, when the world hushes its cacophony and the whispers of memories stir, I find myself tangled in the threads of longing, reaching for a presence that lingers out of my grasp.
They say time heals everything, but what if it doesn’t? What do we do with the pain, the memories, and the moments we were supposed to create, the conversations we were meant to share?
In the sanctuary of dreams, I run to you, arms outstretched, desperate to capture your warmth one more time. But the cruel dawn shatters the illusion, wrenching me from your embrace, leaving me with nothing but the hollow echo of my longing. One more hug, one last time, to feel your presence, to share a moment of laughter – it’s all I ask and all I crave.
Instead, I cling to the fragments of our shared past, each memory a bittersweet reminder of what once was. From the giggles shared in bed in the early mornings when you used to visit, to the quiet moments of self-care and puzzle making, to the bustling shopping trips that now feel like distant echoes of a bygone era. These are just a few memories that weave the fabric of our time together.
Your resilience, your unwavering strength in the face of adversity, remains a guiding light in the stormy seas of life. You stood tall, a pillar of support, your words of encouragement still ringing in my ears, a soothing balm in moments of doubt and despair. I carry your spirit within me, a comforting presence in the midst of life’s trials.
But the ache of your absence cuts deep. The house, once warm with your laughter, now feels cold and empty, a hollow shell of what it once was. I try to navigate this world without you, but the memories, they linger like ghosts, haunting the corners of my mind. The memories come like waves – crashing over me but never receding.
I pretend, I put on a facade of strength, but behind closed doors, I crumble, alone in my grief. I’m homesick for a presence I can no longer reach, yearning for the warmth of your embrace, the sound of your voice.
Why did you have to leave us? None of us were ready. There’s still so much left unsaid, so many words left unspoken. How do I say goodbye to someone who has been with me my whole life? How do I navigate this world without you by my side? You taught me everything apart from how to live without you.
It’s been twelve long months and still, the tears flow freely when I gaze upon your pictures. How do I say goodbye when this goodbye is forever?
Six feet never felt so far, so impossibly distant. I am lost without you, adrift in a sea of grief, looking through your old birthday cards – searching for a piece of you to hold on too.
And I promise, in the stillness of night, as you sleep in the embrace of eternity, I will always try to make you proud. I will carry your memory with me always, a beacon of love in the darkness.
But all I want, is to hear your knock at my door once more, to see your name light up my phone screen and for you say it was all a joke and you are back. It seems impossible but I hold out hope. But I will hold you close in my heart always, a cherished memory in a world that feels so achingly empty without you.
Quixotically Perfect 